talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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