How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
