Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I need to align my fucking chakras
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
