shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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