I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
so much tequila, so little girl.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
