Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
