Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
