you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
