easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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