and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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