it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize