so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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