Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my phone needs a breathalizer
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize