Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
wow bdsm is so cute
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
