I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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