i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
