So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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