in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
