I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
