Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
