Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
