we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize