so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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