My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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