Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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