The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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