Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
