There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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