Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
