I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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