Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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