i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
