I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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