is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
