You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
