my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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