he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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