Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
