Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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