She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I think my vagina is haunted
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
