i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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