Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just made my gag reflex go away.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You were trust falling into bushes
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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