my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
