I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
