ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
