But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
