WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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