do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
