I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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