Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
