I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
