Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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