So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
