i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
