I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
