Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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