i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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