I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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