break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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