that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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