I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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