It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
