She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
