I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize