I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
