69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We need to rekindle our bromance
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
