i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize